


A war of commerce

by Kittyknowsthings



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Humor, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 12:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11578383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyknowsthings/pseuds/Kittyknowsthings
Summary: The merchants of Deep Space Nine discover the value of having the Emissary endorse their products.





	A war of commerce

**Author's Note:**

> You may blame tinsnip for this, since this came out of a conversation we had.

„GOOD MORNING, COMMANDER, WOULD YOU LIKE A JUMJA STICK?“

Garak tried not to wince as his ears rang.

Bolians had, after all, quite the impressive vocal chords and Lysia Arlin was no exception, but this was beyond even her usual volume.

Unless … of course.

He quickly scanned the promenade for her target, and just as he suspected - a group of vedeks had just left the temple, and watching their esteemed Emissary of the Prophets purchase a jumja stick promptly decided that today must be a good day for such indulgences.

Apparently, subtlety was no longer a weapon of choice in this war.

And it had begun with a single sentence.

„I usually prefer hazelnut.“

Of course, nobody knew at that point that Benjamin Sisko had just started a war, but in hindsight, it became so painfully obvious Garak wondered how he didn't see it coming.

Quark, in one of his endless schemes to amass more latinum, had realized that carrying more non-syntheholic beverages would widen his customer base and possibly give him a bigger crowd during the day instead of concentrating all his business in the evening and had – how very predictable - once more taken his inspiration from Earth and introduced a concoction called a milkshake to his menu.

Garak had only sighed at the garish-colored signs Quark had put up and assumed it would fizzle out like most of the Ferengi's marketing schemes.

Many Bajorans passing through or living on the station still gave the Ferengi's bar a wide berth, resenting him for having collaborated with the Cardassians.

The more tolerant Bajorans and the other regular non-humans still far too clearly remembered the introduction of the - of course - earth-based fruit mush Quark had called „Smoothie“ to risk sampling anything new the bar offered.

(Said Smoothies had not been smooth. Often rather grainy. But that had not been the problem. Quark had, euphoric after his first, conventional smoothie combinations were moderately successful and even brought a few families to his establishment, seen it fit to get creative and combine Zilm'kach, alvas, bananas and a not-quite-fresh Gespar, which was, of course, a recipe for disaster.

After a Vulcan who - undaunted by the greyish-violet color - tried it for the nutritional value promptly went into anaphylactic shock, the smoothies were taken off the menu altogether.

Doctor Bashir and Lieutenant Commander Dax had subsequently cooperated on a paper on the enzyme reaction that had led to said shock. Quark had demanded credit for his part in the discovery.)

Once more, only the humans would go for it.

And that was certainly how it seemed, until Jake Sisko (quite literally) dragged his father to the bar.

The former spy, having unobtrusively followed father and son out of sheer curiousity (or so he would tell himself), watched Quark obviously and pathetically trying to endear himself to the Commander as he got two chocolate milkshakes out before the Siskos had even sat down.

He suppressed a smirk of satisfaction when the Commander coldly pointed out that he would prefer a hazelnut-flavoured shake.

Garak was not entirely sure whether the Human was speaking the truth – he was just getting the hang of human body language – but it did not matter either way.

Watching two ingrained Ferengi instincts – keeping on the right side of those in charge and always maximizing the possible profit – war on the barkeeper's face would be delightful to watch, and no matter which side won, this promised to be entertaining … or not?

The Cardassian watched in utter amazement as Quark not only replicated a hazelnut shake with no complaint, but also positively pressured the Commander into sampling all the other available flavours – at no additional cost!

Garak, of course, did what any sensible inhabitant of Deep Space Nine (of which there were woefully few) would do at Quark's uncharacteristic display of generosity – he first made sure he was neither dreaming nor hallucinating and then broke into the station's environmental logs to be sure nothing else was messing with either his perception or Quark's brain chemistry.

Only when the devout Bajorans flocked to Quark's and drank Hazelnut milkshakes did Garak realize that Ferengi had actually struck latinum – and he was not the only one.

Whenever Benjamin Sisko chose to frequent a restaurant on the promenade, it would not only fill up immediately with Bajorans who wished to be close to their icon, but would also enjoy increased business in the days afterward, so enticing the Emissary to dine at their establishment and not another became a sport among the chefs, who tried to suss out the Commander‘s food preferences (with methods ranging from having him watched by children looking to augment their pocket money to hacking his replicator logs) and then designed their specials accordingly.

Garak watched it all with detached amusement, until the trend expanded from the culinary world to fashion.

As rarely as the commander was seen in off-duty clothes around the station – when he was, the same color and style would be worn everywhere within a week.

This, Garak could have lived with - their Commander did have a sense of style, and the Federation crew, who quickly picked up on the fact they would earn them preferential treatment from virtually every observing Bajoran, had a lot less scruples in purchasing from him than the Bajorans did.

When the younger Bajorans, however, started looking to Jake Sisko for fashion guidance, his retinas screamed in agony and he had to resort to bribing a dabo girl or two to compliment the Emissary‘s son on his less offensive choices in the hopes of inspiring him to wear them more often.

And just yesterday, at lunch, Doctor Bashir confided in him that he was considering to persuade the Commander to accept a rhinovirus vaccination that was not nearly as necessary in humans as it would be helpful for Bajorans, whose nasal ridges were sign of a complex set of filters in their sinuses more susceptible to said virus.

Garak finally had enough.

„Commander, if you have a minute?“

He delighted in practically feeling the suspicion radiate of the Human.

„I see that your uniform bunches a bit unfavourably as you lift your arms – does it not feel uncomfortable?“

The Commander paused just a moment too long as he lifted the Jumja stick back to his face.

„You do have a good eye, it does. The uniforms, sadly, are standard issue.“

„Oh, but a few alterations could be easily arranged - at a discount, of course, for our esteemed Commander and Emissary of the Prophets ...“


End file.
